blogity blogity

you guys are great.
saturdays are great.
today i did not mow the lawn.
it will have to happen tomorrow.
i hate shopping, but today i shopped.
i bought stuff to make my house look cool to buyers.
you see, my house is on the market
i bought new area rugs, plants, bathroom towels...why can't people see past their first gut reaction and look at what's real?
kinda like dating, i guess.

i said, "draw, pardner"

Nantional Security vs. possibly offending someone

To ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the president's security detail, 85-year-old congressmen with metal hips, and Medal Of Honor-winning former governors. Let's pause a moment and take the following test:

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:

(a)Olga Corbutt
(b)Sitting Bull
(c)Arnold Schwarzenegger
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:

(a)Lost Norwegians
(b)Elvis
(c)A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

During the 1980s a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

(a)John Dillinger
(b)The King of Sweden
(c)The Boy Scouts
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

(a)A pizza delivery boy
(b)Pee Wee Herman
(c)Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70-year-old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:

(a)The Smurfs
(b)Davy Jones
(c)The Little Mermaid
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:

(a)Captain Kid
(b)Charles Lindbergh
(c)Mother Teresa
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

(a)Scooby Doo
(b)The Tooth Fairy
(c)Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:

(a)Richard Simmons
(b)Grandma Moses
(c)Michael Jordan
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 1998, the U.S. Embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

(a)Mr. Rogers
(b)Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
(c)The World Wrestling Federation to promote "Mustapha the Merciless"
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were killed by:

(a)Bugs Bunny, Wile E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
(b)The Supreme Court of Florida
(c)Mr. Bean
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

(a)Enron
(b)The Lutheran Church
(c)The NFL
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

(a)Bonnie and Clyde
(b)Captain Kangaroo
(c)Billy Graham
(d)Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Anyone for racial profiling?

too many titles from which to choose

a. hand me my shawl and knitting, sonny boy
b. reality check, please
c. get me some botox, damn it!
d. just take a knife to my heart, it'd be less painful

okay, i've been relocated from my semi corner office to a public cubicle. gone is the artwork on the walls and the nifty potted tree in the corner. the bulk of my day consists of blocking the daily onslaught of door knockers and phone callers and hand holding executives while they act as if they are getting ready to walk the plank instead of have a meeting with the VP. my boss is cool. she reminds me of the new geena davis character in the fall scheduled tv drama about the first female president. that's my boss. female, pretty, slim, geena davis looking, cute brown flippy hair that always looks perfect. anyway, i'm off topic, as this is supposed to be about me. it must be the altzheimers kicking in...

to make my crappy cubicle somewhat homey, i've decorated it with a unique style that says, "i'm a professional, yet fun". a beautiful wall calendar hung on the cubicle wall. silly yet eclectic toys for execs to play with and de-stress for a moment or two, and discrete pictures of family and friends pinned where mostly only i will see them... unless there's some snoopy person craning their necks to see my personal wall art. i have little pictures my son drew for me, christmas pictures of friends, etc... and just one picture of someone rather cute of whom it amuses me to take a 30 second fantasy and sneak a peek every now and then. this is someone a tad younger than i am, but i think if the stars aligned i would consider dating him if the chance ever arose. at the moment we are just friends. friends with potential, perhaps.

today i had a new, young manager pleeb trying to get time on my boss's calendar to discuss some boring yet urgent matter. while i search for time on her calendar, this person peruses my personal cubicle items and points to the picture of my male friend, and he says, "is that your son?" i say, " ahh, no... that's a friend. this is my son." and produce a picture of a three year old boy. awkward moment gone, he gets on the calendar and thank God, it's the end of my workday.

i think about this on the way home, "does this guy really look THAT young? dang, he's in his 30's. does that manager dude need glasses? sheesh." and then the realization kicks in.... "do i look that old?"

i'm stunned. hurt. broken. old. i will spare you all the angst and boohoo pity party thoughts i had during my drive home, but this has made me rethink a lot of things. i'll just keep those thoughts to myself.

my man jim

i'm off to go spend some time with my man, jim. long story. i'll explain more later...


backstory...
i’ve made a decision to commit to this relationship. haven’t got a clue how this will work out but i’m going to give this my all, and sincerely hope for the best. It’s been a long time since i’ve opened myself up to such a huge change of lifestyle. i know i’ve enjoyed it in the past, so i’m kind of looking forward to how this may influence my future. But i’m also a little bit nervous. i even went out at lunch today and bought something special to wear.

you see, after some careful discernment, i’ve decided to join the gym. there’ve been times in my past when i’ve pushed my exercising down on my priority scale and i did other things instead of going to the gym, which eventually careened down that slippery slope of slothdom and i just stopped going all together. so this time i got the idea to think of it as a relationship - with jim (gym…get it? cute, huh). i’d never blow off a date with a gentleman, so if i think of gym as “jim” then i’ll have this mental picture of someone waiting for me, wanting to spend time together and eventually maybe even getting sweaty and all….wait, that’s not what i meant to say.

anyways, today will be Day One. positively gory things are bound to happen like being weighed and poked and prodded with a measuring tape, calipers and BMI calculator thingies. all i know, is my ass is the size of texas and i’d like to get it down to the area of rhode island. that’s not asking too much, i don’t think.

wish me luck. i will be throwing away the remaining oreos, just as i would delete old phone numbers from my PDA. ;-)

update...

i've met with jim two times so far, so we're at that third date mark. we just may have to go for it after work today and get all sweaty.

my dance

i started listening to this song yesterday during my freeway drive. as i listened i created a mental video of snippets of my life. a five year old dancing with my mom during Lawrence Welk on a sunday evening... a child at cotillion, tennis lessons, catholic school, church. these where the times i learned manners, playing fair, winning and losing with equal grace and that prayer is a source of strengh, not a crutch...a young lady dancing on her wedding day, an adult caring for my mom as she slowly succumbed to cancer, a woman praying in church, a mom doing the mommy dance in my pjs while my son ate breakfast in the kitchen ...all memories of moments when i learned my life lessons.

now i'm raising my son and showing him the dance of life, in which he will take the steps i've taught him and make them his own as he becomes a man. well, i mean as he turns 3 and a half....

for Monkey Bunker

this is an article for a cyber friend who's a comic on tour in Iraq. check out his blog. very impressive.



dave, this is for you:

U.S. Leads Offensive in Western Iraq / Friday, August 05, 2005

BAGHDAD, Iraq — About 1,000 U.S. Marines (search) and Iraqi soldiers have launched a major operation in western Iraq to disrupt insurgents and foreign fighters in the Euphrates River valley, the U.S. military said Friday.
The operation, dubbed Quick Strike, began Wednesday with Iraqi soldiers and Marines positioning their units, said a military statement. They are focused on an area centered around the cities of Haditha (search), Haqlaniyah and Parwana, about 140 miles northwest of Baghdad.
On Wednesday, 14 Marines and their civilian translator were killed when their vehicle was hit by a roadside bomb near Haditha as they traveled inside a lightly armored vehicle.
On Friday, U.S. and Iraqi troops, including Special Operations (search) forces, moved into the city of Haqlaniyah, the Marine statement said. U.S. jets attacked insurgents hiding in buildings outside the town.
Residents in the area said U.S. and Iraqi forces had cordoned off Haqlaniyah and were conducting house-to-house searches. U.S. warplanes circled overhead and a number of heavy explosions were heard. Witnesses said 500-pound bombs were being dropped in the area.
The U.S. military has defended its operations in western Iraq, insisting it is reducing insurgent attacks, despite the deaths of the 14 Marines. The extremist Ansar al-Sunnah Army claimed responsibility in a Web posting and said its fighters used two bombs to destroy the vehicle.
In Najaf, Prime Minister Ibrahim al-Jaafari said Iraq's most influential Shiite Muslim cleric would like the new constitution to enshrine Islam as the main source of legislation.
That is opposed by Kurds and some Iraqi women activists, and is one of issues that political leaders are trying to resolve so a proposed constitution can be presented to parliament by the Aug. 15 deadline.
The views of Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani hold considerable sway among Shiite Muslims, who make up 60 percent of Iraq's 27 million people.
After meeting with the cleric, al-Jaafari said: "Ayatollah al-Sistani does not want to impose dictation on drafting the constitution, but according to my knowledge he hopes that Islam become the main source of legislation."
Four more U.S. service members were killed in action Wednesday, the military said — three in Baghdad and one in Ramadi.
A U.S. military spokesman, Brig. Gen. Donald Alston, said American military operations in Anbar province, which includes the area where the Marines died, have succeeded in disrupting insurgent activities.
"We still have deaths. We still have suicide car bombs," he said. "But the numbers we see indicate [the insurgents] can't generate the same tempo, and I think that's because we've had some degree of effect in interdicting these forces."
Alston cited figures showing there were 13 car bombs in Iraq last week — the lowest weekly number since April. "There's a clear indication to me that the tempo has decreased."
U.S. troops have stepped up operations in recent months in Anbar, the center of the Sunni Arab-dominated insurgency and a major avenue for foreign fighters infiltrating the country from Syria.
Alston warned that militants will likely rally their forces in a concerted effort to derail the country's political progress, including a referendum on the constitution in October and an election in December.
The president's office said a key meeting scheduled for Friday by political leaders to hammer out differences in the draft constitution has been postponed until Sunday. The statement issued Friday did not say why the meeting was delayed.
The gathering was called by constitutional committee chairman Humam Hammoudi, who promised the National Assembly that the draft charter would be ready by the Aug. 15 deadline, provided the country's political leaders reach compromises on key issues including federalism, the role of Islam, and distribution of national wealth.
U.S. leaders, who pushed hard for the committee not to seek an extension on completing the charter, considers the constitutional process vital to maintain political momentum, undermine the insurgency and pave the way for the Americans and their coalition partners to draw down troops next year.
U.S. commanders have warned that although the number of vehicle and roadside bombings are decreasing, they are increasing in potency and sophistication. Bombs on the roads or planted in vehicles account for 70 percent to 80 percent of the U.S. deaths in Iraq, command spokesman Lt. Col. Steven Boylan said.
A roadside bomb late Wednesday killed three U.S. soldiers in Baghdad, the U.S. command said. A Marine was killed Wednesday by small arms fire in Ramadi, the capital of Anbar province 70 miles west of Baghdad, the command added.
At least 1,826 members of the U.S. military have died since the Iraq war started in March 2003, according to an Associated Press count.
Al-Jaafari on Thursday announced a new 12-point security plan. He gave few details but said it included steps to improve intelligence, protect infrastructure and prevent foreign fighters from entering the country.
"We will not hesitate in saying this: We are in a state of war. It is one of the most dangerous types of war because it is not a conventional or a war of borders," he said.


peace.

quality

if you ever get to know me, you'll learn that i am a firm believer in quality. i've had the same check book cover since college (read 1980) yikes. some of you weren't even born yet. anyways, back to quality. if you can, buy the best you can afford of certain items as you're bound to get a greater return in the long run.

go for the best:
watches
wallets
purses
clocks
jewelry
coffee (have you noticed i like coffee?)

stuff that doesn't pay to pay top dollar:
makeup
most grocery items
car washes
gasoline
plants
toys

anyways, i like quality. in stuff and people. nuff said.

now i'm off to drink some two buck chuck (or what i have renamed 'charles deux franc').


***
now it's your turn:

on what items are you willing to spend the big bucks?
tell me your favorite cheapo items

hold me

Hmmm. I should blog something. Something about work, since that’s what I’m supposed to be doing right now.

I’m in a holding pattern. My future income is riding on one lady’s decision whether or not to come back to work for someone she can’t stand (guessing on this one, but when one makes a face like she just crapped her pants while simultaneously looking at dog doo on the bottom of her shoe, ya get the idea she just might not be so fond of this person). So yeah, I’m speculating.

I’ve been filling in for this position for the past three months while the face making lady has been on a medical leave of absence (stressed induced illness from all the face making, I think), and I’ve been given a rather spiffy increase in my salary, which may revert back to the pittance I made in my previous position.

In 24 hours I should know. So I’m waiting on joining the local gym, waiting to buy a home ….and that bottle of champagne I’ll purchase when it’s confirmed I get to keep this job that fits me like a glove, or a designer gown, or my favorite slippers: all unique visuals for illustrating just how much I like this job.