Remembering Harvey J. Gardner III

Harvey was a single man, aged 35, who loved his two brothers and his whole family. He was a call records management supervisor for General Telecom and he worked on the 83rd floor of Tower 1 at the World Trade Center. Harvey was at work in the building when the attacks occurred.

Harvey was from Lakewood, NJ, and somehow I can hear his voice in that cool Jersey accent.

Harvey, I never knew you, but I will never forget you. When i was given your name I searched the internet for your picture, and as I saw your face for the first time, I blubbered like a baby. My sorrow over your death is still felt, and I know it can't compare to the grief your family must feel.

I went to bed last night thinking about you and your brothers. Each time I woke up in the middle of the night you were on my mind. As I made my morning coffee, as I work at my desk.

You shouldn't have had to die that day. No one should have. My emotions flux between anger and sorrow, disbelieve, resignation and back to anger. My hope is that you are at peace.

I will remember you and never forget.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Below are two tributes to Harvey; the first being written by his younger brother, Anthony.


Tribute to Harvey-- A True American Hero, Forever Strong and Loved




Harvey Joseph Gardner III, 35, was truly wise for his age. An animated energized man that excelled at living, he had an astute appreciation and passion for life. "Harvey was adored and appreciated for his strength, integrity, and wisdom--he was my big brother, my teacher, my friend," said his youngest brother Anthony.




Harvey saw himself as a work-in-progress and always strove to be the best person that he could be. Three years ago, he decided to go back to school to become a certified computer technician. He realized an insatiable interest in the field and began his job at the World Trade Center two years ago. Harvey had a knack for making everyone comfortable and many of his coworkers soon became part of his family.

In his spare time, Harvey could always be found running or riding his bike at the beach in Spring Lake, NJ--he lived in Lakewood, NJ with his other brother, Mark for the last four years. He enjoyed and participated in the martial arts, loved to cook, loved his family and protected them throughout his entire life, was an American patriot, a student of history, and a collector of memories. He will forever be remembered for the sensitive, strong, beautiful man that he was.

His family is FOREVER PROUD.


Tribute submitted by Anthony Gardner.


Built From Scratch

For his career, Harvey Gardner chose the computer lab over the kitchen, but both places fostered his creativity. He was a tinkerer, someone who built computers from stray parts and, evidently, built dinners the same way. Mr. Gardner, 35, did all the cooking for himself and his younger brother Mark, with whom he lived in Spring Lake, N.J. But the recipes were gleaned from the air.

"They were all his own concoctions," said another brother, Anthony, who is the founder of the WTC United Family Group (www.wtcunitedfamilygroup.org), an information network for families of the victims of Sept. 11. "It was crazy stuff. But it was good."

A practitioner of martial arts and a devotee of the History Channel, Mr. Gardner was a computer consultant for General Telecom on the 83rd floor of 1 World Trade Center.

"Mark managed to get through to him at the trade center that morning," Anthony Gardner said. "And Mark heard him comforting others, telling them it was O.K. He was being his normal, level-headed self."
Profile published in THE NEW YORK TIMES on December 12, 2001.


Harvey Gardner, 35, a role model


When a hijacked airplane hit the North Tower of the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, Harvey Joseph Gardner called his brother Mark to let him know what was happening.

Mr. Gardner was reassuring the people who worked around him on the 93rd floor in the office of General Telecom.

"I can imagine what he did when the events unfolded," another brother, Anthony, said. "I'm sure he was helping people who couldn't get out."

To his family, Mr. Gardner was a hero and role model. "He knew what was important in life," Anthony Gardner said.

Born in Newark, Mr. Gardner lived in Belleville before moving to Lakewood four years ago.

After high school, Mr. Gardner couldn't decide whether to be a chef or computer technician. He chose the latter as a profession, and dabbled in the former as a hobby. He was 35.

"He loved to cook," said Anthony Gardner. "He used to make his concoctions, putting them over pasta. He was inventive in his cooking."

Mr. Gardner had been a car salesman. But about three years ago, got a job at General Telecom, where he was a supervisor.

At home, he practiced martial arts.

"He promoted a healthy lifestyle. He was very spiritual and liked to run on the beach," Anthony Gardner said.

Judith Torea, Mr. Gardner's mother, said her son always wanted to help his country. She said she saw his death as just that.

"He was trying to calm other people down. That's the kind of person he was. He had a very kind heart."

In Mr. Gardner's honor, his family and friends created a Web site for victims' families: www.wtcunitedfamilygroup.org.

Mr. Gardner also is survived by his father, Harvey J. Gardner II; stepfather, Manuel Torea, and a half-brother, Joseph.

A memorial Mass will be offered at 11 a.m. Saturday at St. Raphael's Church, Livingston.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Mr. Gardner's name to the Make a Wish Foundation of New Jersey, 1034 Salem Road, Union, N.J. 07083.

Profile by Reginald Roberts published in THE STAR-LEDGER.

still blocked, so here's an A B C thingy

Attached or single? so single.

Best friend? i thought it was D, but after this weekend, i don't know...

Cake or Pie? pie, baby

Day of Choice? Saturday!

Essential Item? Shampoo

Favorite color? sage green.

Gummy bears or worms? worms

Hometown? Corona del Mar, CA

Indulgence? Chanel no. 5 body lotion

January or July? July.

Kids? Yes! i love my mckid and mcteen

Life isn’t complete… until we experience the loss of a loved one.

Marriage Date? August 2nd....for both marriages (weird, i know)

Number of Brothers and Sisters? One older sister

Oranges or Apples? oranges

Phobias? claustro

Quote? Picking a favorite quote is like picking a favorite child. There are so many wonderful ones I couldn’t possibly choose

Reasons to Smile? My kids

Season of Choice? Fall. Always fall

Tag Seven People? Nope. No tagging here. But feel free to do this if it interests you

Unknown Fact? i'm so writer's blocked, i can't think of anything interesting. how about: i'm considering using botox? if you saw the wrinkles on my forehead, you'd understand why.

Vegetable? eggplant

Worst habits? staying holed in my house when mckid is away.

X-Ray or Ultrasound? ?? whichever is needed, i guess. i loved seeing the ultrasounds of my mckbabies.

Your favorite food? shashimi

Zodiac sign? cancer.

the game of life

pay it forward challenge

Here's a chance to get a surprise in the mail from me!
My surprise is coming from blog buddy, jamie dawn.


Here are the rules:

1. Leave a comment that says you want to receive something from me and you want to Pay It Forward. The first THREE to agree to Pay It Forward at their blogs will get a gift from me. I need your home address, so email it to me at mckayslife AT dslextreme DOT com

2. The three winners must do the same thing on their blogs, so the Pay It Forward challenge will continue throughout Blogdom.


okay. major thanks to jamie for doing the Pay It Forward Challenge, and getting me out of my blogger's block. it's been so long since i've posted regularly i think even my few faithful posters may have drifted away. we'll see if i can get three comments!


jamie just left a comment to say her surprise is on its way to me. i'm kinda excited. how fun to get something in the mail that isn't a bill or junk! i wonder what it will be??
YAY for fun bloggers!

# # # #

starter post...just start typing and see what develops:

it's been a while since i've logged on to blog. work and life have both been busy: three months in with the new CIO, we've found our pace and just finished the large task of annual reviews, raises and bonuses. being the chief paper pusher, i've been kept busy rolling up and spreading out many columns and rows. it's an interesting process (i can't believe i just said spreadsheets are interesting) - i can either focus solely on the numbers - or the people to whom the numbers belong. i silently cheer when someone gets a well deserved promotion, concur on someone's merit number or wonder about some surprises that are bound to pop up. frankly it's much easier, faster and healthier to just do the task and not dwell on the human factor.

okay, enough about work.


several weeks ago, mckid and i had a trip to the ER after a school morning freak accident. he was goofing around in the living room, tripped on the ottoman and fell, slashing his lower back open on the edge of the fireplace door. thank God i recently took a first aid/cpr class at work, so i knew to apply pressure for several minutes before doing the momma mad dash to the ER (picture the kramer vs. kramer run to the hospital and that was me in the parking lot). let it be known, this was a doosie of a gash. deep enough to see the layers of epidermis and even the larger puffy white area of the lower dermis. 14 stitches later, he has a cool scar to rival any pirate who trips on treasure chests or ottomans.

yes, i actually happened to have my camera in my purse when we made the mad dash to the hospital. i asked mckid if he wanted a few pictures. he said okay and, of course, the doctor was all for it.

i won't post the pics here. they're pretty bloody, but if you want, i'll post a pic of the stitches at a later date.

and if you're here reading and commenting...thanks for checking in to see if i'm still around.

mck.

let's dish about dishes

Shannon at Rocks in my Dryer has created a dish carnival and you know how women love their dishes, so sure, why not post a few pics on the net?


what you see here is a combo of pieces that i've blended together over the years.

it's stuff i've found here and there, and i think they all fit together nicely for an eclectic combo of formal and casual. the crystal wine glass is a nod to my irish heritage: it's waterford's lismore pattern.

at the top center of the pic are my blue juice/water glasses. i've picked these up at various places, and i'm ready to buy some more when i see something similar. i fell in love with blue glass ages ago when i was once eating at a ritz carlton hotel. their restaurant had the crisp white tablecloths with blue water goblets. i liked the combo so much, i've adopted the look over the years (side note: see the tall blue goblet? you'll see similar ones being used on the old "Friends" sitcom episodes. They stole the look from me).

the white pieces are my wedding china circa 1985, which i've been using as my everyday dishes for two years now. i figure, why not enjoy the fancy stuff every day? i thought the pattern was so delicate and detailed when i was a young 25 year old bride-to-be. to really appreciate how pretty the pattern is, you have to see it up close:


this blue and white bowl i bought at Mervyn's way back in the early 80's when i was a young single gal. i just needed some cereal bowls and this is what i bought. if i had known i'd like them so much and that they'd stand the test of time, i'd have bought several sets, as one has broken and now only three slightly chipped pieces remain.




now here we've got a whoops that's growing on me. i actually bought this set of pasta bowls for my sister, who was in a rooster phase. i rarely buy my Christmas gifts early, but the one year i did, my sis said she was done with roosters and specifically requested no more rooster themed gifts. so...i kept them and bought her something else. see the square plate? i saw it at TJ MAX last week and bought it for $4 bucks. i may have to go back and buy the other squares. silly to buy only one plate, hmm? why so cautious for a $16 dollar investment? they'll be used to hold garlic bread or other types of tapas.



here we've got a "you are special" plate topped with a pretty 80's clear glass Princess House plate. Ever go to one of those Princess House parties? I got these when my college roommate threw a party. I'll be using the "Special" plate very soon, when mckid turns a whopping SIX years old :0)



and of course, i've saved the best for last: plastic mishmash.


so, there you have it: mck's dishes. thank you for putting up with this silly post.

on love

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." -Saint Exupery

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." -Ingrid Bergman

True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen." -La Rochefoucauld

"Love is a promise delivered already broken." - Steve Martin

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." -St. Augustine

"To love another person is to see the face of God." -Les Miserables

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."-Alexander Smith

"There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not." -La Rochefoucauld

"Blushing is the color of virtue." –Diogenes

"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand." –Unknown

"Relationships--of all kinds--are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost." -Kaleel Jamison

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." – Anonymous

"Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words." - Fr. Jerome Cumming

"We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person." -W. Somerset Maugham

"A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy." - George Jean Nathan

"The course of true love never did run smooth." - William Shakespeare

"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting." -Mother Theresa

happy valentine's day.
love,
mck.

the great interview experiment

i'm nobody.
who are you?
are you nobody, too?

this famous poem by by Emily Dickinson, was probably the best blog comment i've ever read. its simplicity spoke volumes, just as the powerful poem intended. the comment also hit a chord with its recipient, neil, at citizen of the month. as it inspired him to create an exercise where everyone who wanted, could participate in becoming known.

the great blog interview extravaganza created a blog chain of interviews, whereby each blogger would interview the next. no one is left unknown. i was given the good fortune of meeting Bre of Win or Lose, We Go Shopping. She's a twenty-something, free spirited gal who has awesome friends and an equally awesome job at the local college.

please take the time to click the link and get to know Bre. her blog is witty, real, and is a place you find yourself visiting often. here's my feeble attempt at interviewing a stranger via email and blogland:


where do you live?
I live in the Philadelphia Suburbs – close enough to the city to enjoy all of its awesomeness, but far enough out of it not to have to deal with city traffic or, you know… shootings.

how long have you been blogging?
I’ve been blogging since late 2004

why did you start blogging?
It all started with a boy I used to be sweet on. I’d been reading blogs for a while but hemmed and hawed about starting my own. When I found his I figured that if he could do it then I certainly could. Of course my blog has lasted far longer than my interest in the boy!

what's the best thing you've gotten out of blogging?
A community of interesting folks! They act as my sounding boards in many aspects of my life and my connection to them and with them is truly fantastic!

what motivates you to do a certain blog post?
I find myself writing blog posts in my head from time to time now that I’m used to the whole blogging thing. Usually something ridiculous happens and I start composing. Other times I use my blog as a way to work out some particular topic that I’m stuck on.

is your blog life separate from real life (secret identity) or mixed with blog friends and real life friends?
The people that I’m closest to know that I have a blog – my immediate family (my family is HUGE so they don’t all know about it because telling each of them would take the better part of a decade) and my closest friends. I keep it separate from my professional identity more for the sake of the students I work with than my own. I change names and fudge details from time to time for that same reason.

real life occupation?
I work in the Office of Residence life at a small, liberal arts college. I’m in charge of several Residence Halls and act as the primary judicial force. I also do emergency response, counseling, and programming.

what drama is going on in your life right now?
Hmmm, there always seems to be drama! One of my good friends is about to give birth to her first baby, so we’re all on edge about that one. There’s all sorts of relationship drama that weaves its way into and out of my life on a daily basis, but I’m not one for big time drama!

with what successes are you most pleased?
This is going to sound hokey, but I’m most pleased when I get the really difficult, undervalued, troublesome, “delinquent” students to respond to me. When I can develop them and make a difference for them. I am a champion for the underdog – both the bullies that “won’t go anywhere” and the “losers” that they tromp on. I love to make an impact on them.

what do you want to tell the world right now?
Phew, I don’t know if there’s enough room to type that all! I’d like to shout out that I’m happy. Really really happy. I may not be completely satisfied, ready kick back and just live like this for the rest of my life – but for now I’m happy. I tend to talk more about the exasperating and annoying parts of my life, but honestly I’m one happy girl!

what kind of things do you keep private?
Names, certain interactions that I have with students are just too private for me to talk about, or they hit me too hard and I don’t know how to talk about them! I don’t talk about anyone who could read the blog when they bug me, and I tend not to talk about my political views or religious views often.

who knows you best? why?
In my family I’d say my sister, which is baffling to me because when we were younger we were constantly at odds. She’s very observant and she knows all my little habits. I’m very comfortable with her and with telling her things I know she’ll keep close to her. Outside of my family I’d say probably Frank, who is one of my closest friends. Frank keeps all of my secrets. I can go to him and just vent everything out and then never have to talk about it again unless I want to. He’s like my brother in the best possible way – he gives great advice and he can always make me laugh.

who in your family knows you least?...why?
That’s hard because my family is pretty huge! I’d say my Aunt Aggie because I haven’t seen her in eons!

goals?
Fall in love, get married, purchase a house with a white picket fence and entire room devoted to my wardrobe. Build a family – I’m terrifically interested in international adoption and I think that that will play out in my life even if I don’t find Prince Charming! I’d really like happily ever after.

travel goals?
I’m going to LONDON in March and I’m terribly excited. I get to travel internationally probably about once a year with work, so it’s mega good times. Other than that, I like to bop around the beach and go exploring wherever and whenever I can!

relationship goal?
Uhm… get one? I’m extraordinarily weird when it comes to relationships. And by that I mean that I meet a guy that I think I should be interested in and try to convince myself that I am. I need to get past my own head and just date guys who actually interest me! Ack! I’m sure I sound completely neurotic right now, but that’s par for the course when you’re 25 and single…right?!? I don’t actually know what I want or what I need out of a relationship (though I can tell you what I DON’T want or need!) but I’m working on figuring that out!

professional goals?
One day I’ll be the Dean of Students… how I get there is up in the air right now! J

do you keep a list of goals or go with the flow of life?
I go with the flow of life, but I do have some immediate goals I’d like to accomplish!

what draws you back to certain blogs?
For me it’s all about voice. If I like the person (or what I can tell about the person from their writing) I’m interested in coming back and reading more. I’m very interested in folks who have a different experience or life than my own, and I’ve found that I (oddly enough) have the greatest connection with them!

are you following the presidential race?
Not really at this point. I know who I’d like to win the primaries, but I can do very little about how that candidate does in other states, so I’ll just hang out and wait for Pennsylvania to come up, cast my vote, and then hang out until we vote again!



please go visit Bre. you'll be glad you did

my night with steve

anticipation is a good thing.

the "on-edge", almost electric expectation of what's to come can sometimes be just as good as the actual event itself. my bro-in-law, jp, and i made up a party of three orange county 40-somethings who were all looking forward to seeing our favorite comic live & in person at the wilshire theatre. not that steve martin would be performing any of his iconic routines from the 70's; this event was to be a talk with martin and comedienne, carol burnett; focusing on his path to and past years in stand up comedy, which have been captured in steve's memoir, Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life.


to get us in the mood on the drizzly drive to L.A., we listened to my CD "Let's Get Small", a famously huge hit of a 70's album of steve doing his thing at the boarding house in san francisco. here's a transcription of the "Let's Get Small" bit:

"I'm on drugs. I'm, uh, I mean, you know what it is. What's the deal, man? I like to get small. It's a wild, wild drug. Very dangerous for kids though, because they get really small. I know I shouldn't get small when I'm drivin', but, uh, I was drivin' around the other day, you know .....and a cop pulls me over. And he goes, ‘Hey, are you small?’ I said, ‘No, I'm tall, I'm tall.’ He said, 'Well, I'm gonna have to measure you.' They've got a little test they give you; it's a balloon, and if you can get inside of it, they know... you're small. And they can't put you in a regular cell either, because you walk right out."

not super funny on paper, but it was the delivery and his physicalization of the concept - miming being so small, his arms reaching high into the air as to barely touch the bottom of the steering wheel. as a teenager, listening to the album was a lesson in using my mental fortitude, imagining how martin got such huge laughs spazzing on stage with happy feet, etc... but i digress.

so, there we were, now middle-aged(?) vice presidents and executive office types laughing and remembering the good ol' days of playing that record over and over while we drove up to L.A. to see the comic genius in the flesh.

was i excited? oh yeah.

we got to LA quite early. around 4 o'clock-ish to see if the tickets at will call could be picked up early. nope. there were already several people standing in line. the very first person was wearing black converse shoes and jeans, exactly what a message board poster at the sm.com web site declared she'd be wearing.
apparently it was not she, as the gal had no idea what i was talking about when i asked if she was "ten4", the poster's message board nickname.

off we went to find food, since the bistro right next door wasn't open yet. we decided upon spending happy hour at a little japanese place around the corner. one sapporo, six spicy tuna rolls and one bowl of edamame later, we headed back to get in line. by that time the next door bistro was open and our spot in line was situated right in front of the bar's door. we played tag team bar games, each taking turns holding our spot in line, while the other two chatted with other theatre goers doing the appetizer/drinkie thing inside.

we were lucky the weather cooperated, only giving us steady rain in off-and-on segments; not enough to get pants legs wet and frozen feet, but just enough to make it a fun winter's night.

at 6:30 we got our tickets and made our way into the theatre. once inside, we staked out perfect seats - six rows back, aisle seats on the left. then i could take time to enjoy looking at the circa-1930 art deco Wilshire Theatre. this was a lovely building with intricate wood carving throughout. being inside any live performance theatre gets my actor's blood pumping and the energy flowing, bringing images of theatre ghosts and ectoplasmic memory imprints of the building's decades of past performances welling up into a vibe that was palatable. i love everything about theatre...being on stage and being in the audience. it's a great experience from any perspective.

(bro-in-law, mckay & jp dreaming up a question for steve prior to the event)

7:45, andrea grossman takes the stage at the podium to introduce the evening's Writers Bloc series by Town Hall, which brings compelling speakers and topics of all sorts to the Los Angeles community. here's where i pondered yet again to myself, "who paired carol burnett, a classic sketch comedy veteran with stand up icon steve martin?" what did they have in common to discuss steve martin's stand up years? in my opinion, the evening called for a johnny carson type role. funny, casual, generous to allow the night to be about steve martin and his book; someone who had been there and experienced steve at his height of stand up fame. his buddy, Bill McEuen, would have been a possible choice, since he was instrumental in managing steve's early comedic path.

do you see what i'm getting at? there was one problem with this evening, and my prior nagging internal question of the odd paring of burnett with martin was prophetic. i thought the evening was to be about martin’s new book, with burnett being able to interject a tad of her 70's memories into the conversation like spice to a recipe, but burnett thought she was the main ingredient. she seemed oblivious of the fact that her role was to be a guide allowing the evening to focus on martin. instead, she let dead silence hang in the air instead asking anything about the book or steve's years of stand up fame. to steve's credit, he made gentle attempts to keep the conversation flowing and focused on comedy. at one point he joked, “I dare you to ask me a question.”

mr. martin and i were simpatico in our shared frustration of being caught in conversation quicksand. perhaps burnett didn't know she was to be in the interviewer role. very odd.

at the very beginning of the evening steve and carol did a bit with steve producing a list of questions to ask. oh, lord, i wish they did use the list. it at least would have provided some structure to the evening. which leads me back to andrea grossman. who produced the evening? who was in charge of setting expectations for the event? somewhere a ball got dropped. yes, burnett was funny, interesting and charming, but i didn't drive to L.A. to see her. i really wanted to listen to steve martin talk about his craft.

now let me take off my producer/director/actor rant hat and remember what i truly enjoyed about the evening. when martin was allowed to talk about comedy, he mentioned the mystifying element that is present in comedy. one of his goals as a comedian was to embrace the undefinable thing that happens when friends get together, banter, joke and reach a frenzied point of laughter where one can't even look at the other without breaking up in gut wrenching laughter. what is that thing? how can a guy analyze that element, capture it, write it down it its various forms and perform it so he and an audience can share an evening of side splitting, thought provoking, existential witticisms? that's what martin did so friggin' fantastically, and in my opinion, why he shot to fame. we, the audience, couldn't get enough of him and his unique way of presenting bits of goofy, quirky comedy. no wonder i adore his brand of humor.

(blurry zoom as my camera batteries started to die. nice socks.)



the book provides the little tidbits that embedded in martin's subconscious - the neurotic co-worker at disneyland who kept saying, "well excuse me for living." - the post card of happy feet behind the magic store counter - his first love, who led him towards a thirst for philosophy and a love of the non sequitur. go read the book. you'll enjoy seeing how all the little pieces of his life take a modest, earnest man and place him in history's book of comedic legends.

go to Simon & Schuster to listen to a couple of excerpts from Born Standing Up.

more pics:

jp expressing his adoration/golden bear question, provoking steve's explosive quip "no adoration!" or something to that effect.

the hand that signed a thousand books... (thanks, freshie, for the editing tips. ;0)


the signing machine. one book every 15 seconds. it must've been a loooong night for mr. martin.


i tried to catch a smile or something other than tired; my camera delay caught him peeking at his watch...


all in all, it was a great night. fun, food, friends and phenomenally talented people on stage. i kinda wish steve would reprise a new brand of his kind of stand up in small venues, but i guess i'll have to settle on listening to my CDs that capture his past.

hey, jp, you still have my Let's Get Small CD in you car. i want it back, mister.

# # # #


i may start adding trivia footnotes of odd connections and such to some of my blogs. here's a few:

1 -my bro-in-law is VP of linda jones enterprises. linda jones is daughter to famous cartoonist, chuck jones [think bugs bunny, daffy, fud, yosemite sam]. my BIL worked with chuck jones for years before jones' death, organizing art shows and promotional events.

2- Bill McEuen, buddy and early manager of steve martin, was also the manager of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. NGDB appeared on Saturday Night Live, and, billed as The Toot Uncommons, provided backing for the song King Tut.

3- i saw the NGDB in concert at a 1976 bicentennial rodeo in cody wyoming, while on vacation with my best friend, marisa, her dad, and his personal secretary, pat stacy. marisa's dad was to be the grand marshall in a little town parade while we were in wyoming for him to open the winchester rifle museum.

stalkers take note

today i'm going here to see her:



read this:

bloggers ROCK!

and write...and read...and apparently knit.

four days in '08

1-4-08
i had a date with .....someone i like. let's call him dave.i don't know if it'll develop...blah, blah, blah.

still, it was nice to have someone pay attention to me, open doors, hold my hand, laugh at my silly comments.


1-5-08
today my dogs killed a humongous rat and left it by the back door. personally, i prefer flowers, but i graciously accepted their gift. even if i did have to wrap it up in plastic and dispose.

this is what they mean by "it's the thought that counts".


1-6-08
today is my mom's birthday. she loved chocolate birthday cake and blowing out the candles.

god bless you, mom. rest in peace.
love,
me



1-07-08
today my new CIO started and he said numerous times how impressed he is with my organizational skills and proactive nature. i think this is going to be a good fit.

i don't know if dave will call again, but in the meantime i'm looking back at my time with him as having finished reading a really good book. does that make sense? i don't need to overthink whether or not anything will come of it, whether or not there will be more dates, hugs, flirting and such. what it was ...was good. and that's enough.

been there, done some of that and will do some of these...

magikat (see "the actress" on the sidebar) posted a fun little list of things to do before 2007 ended. i looked at her list and did some quick new math and figured out i did eleven of them, but i'm not saying which ones.

Take a bubble bath, pay old bills, snuggle with your puppies, stare up at the sky, organize your closet, have fabulous sex, finish a to-do list, daydream, go for a bicycle ride, paint your toenails, call your family, flip through a magazine and sip a glass of wine, get your boogie on, plan a trip, do a cartwheel, think big.



things i have planed for the upcoming month or so...
- possibly go to the movies with friend/potential romantical interest this weekend. woo!

- start Weigh Loss Challenge: Series II on 1/7, with a goal of losing another 10-12 pounds in the next six weeks (did i mention i've lost around 15 pounds so far?

- meet my new CIO (yes another new CIO....long story i couldn't post for fear of losing job) on 1/7

- go see steve martin and carol burnett lecture at the wilshire theatre in bevery hills on 1/24. i'm very excited about this.

- contact local theatre companies to see if they need an awesome yet not modest director.

- buy a bike and ride that sucker!

happy new year!

mck.

looking at the end of the year from outside the cave

so, here we are on the last day of 2007. it's been quite a year. 365 days - 51 blog posts - 1 play - several life lessons learned. am i cured of my cave dwelling ways? not fully, but it's getting better.

agreeing to direct the play for my producer/playwright buddy was a great choice. i got to spend time with talented, creative people and get my own talent in gear. it's a good thing to be able to do something i know i'm good at. i don't consider that bragging. in a world full of things i can't do (surf, scuba, paint a masterpiece, play the cello, etc...) it's a blessing to have a few things i can look at and say, "damn, i'm good".

acting.
directing.
several great home cooking recipes.
kissing.

since i won't be kissing anyone at midnight, i will make do with cooking a meatloaf for dinner.


still, being out of the cave is a good thing.


in 2008 there are things i want to improve upon and/or accomplish:
- healthy activities (buy a good used bike and get out on the bike trails)
- keep losing weight (15 pounds gone so far, give or take a scone...)
- learn to play the guitar that mysteriously arrived at my door during the holidays
- budget my bucks better
- put some elbow grease into my home improvement list
- possibly learn how to knit a scarf
- make a few more new friends
- continue to try to be a good parent (always a challenge no matter what year it is)
- work on developing more producer contacts so i can direct more plays
- plan a vacation (actually hard to do for a cave dwelling homebody)

2007 was a tough year in some respects, a healing year, a year that needed to take place in order for more good things to happen. cheers, 2007. you may have had some bumpy days, but i think we made some advancements, too.

2008, here we come. let's do this up right.




At the sound of the tolling midnight bell
a brand new year will begin.
Let's raise our hopes in a confidant toast,
to the promise it ushers in.

May your battles be few, your pleasure many,
your wishes and dreams fulfilled.
May your confidence stand in the face of loss
and give you the strength to rebuild.

May peace of heart fill all your days
may serenity grace your soul.
May tranquil moments bless your life
and keep your spirit whole.

fondly,
mck.

psych test on a saturday morning

now that i know who i am i will go get coffee.




You are a Visionary
Your imagination, self-assuredness, and knowledge of the world combine to make you a VISIONARY.

You have clear notions of how things could be, and the confidence to try to make them that way.

You enjoy having a routine, and prefer comfort and familiarity to risk and adventure.

Not needing others' approval to forge ahead, you are confident in your designs for the future.

Your imagination allows you to envision the world as a better place.

You're better at thinking of the big picture than you are with details, and you can see wonder in abstract things.

Style and appearances are important to you, and you have a good eye for beauty.

You are somewhat rigid in your beliefs, which comes from both confidence and an aversion to change.

You are good at creating works of art in forms with which you're familiar.

You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options.

You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.

If you want to be different:

Appreciate the earthly, functional elements of things.

Your clarity of vision sometimes prevents you from being open to new ideas. Try expanding your horizon of experiences, and experimenting with novel ways of doing things.

how you relate to others
You are Encouraging
Your outgoing nature, understanding of others, and directness make you ENCOURAGING.

You want others to do well for themselves, and you generally believe in their abilities.

You often know what's good for people because of your caring nature and your worldview.

When you care about someone, you don't keep it to yourself: you are good at letting people know that you're thinking of them.

Because you trust people, you take violations of that trust very seriously.

You thrive in social situations, and even though you know who you like and who you don't like, you can interact well with many different types of people.

You have a healthy respect for people who have earned what they have, and you strive to be similar to successful others.

You are a loyal friend and a good listener.

If you want to be different:

Sometimes, in the course of being encouraging, you can be a bit judgmental—this can make it more difficult for others to follow your advice.

While you are an expert at getting the most out of the world and taking advantage of many experiences, you might gain some insight by taking the time to be alone, reflect on things, or just observe the goings-on in the world.

show opens!

last night was opening night for our Christmas production entitled Eight Tiny... it's an evening of eight short plays written by local playwrights and produced by New Voices Playwrights Workshop in orange county. i've been lucky enough to have my producer buddy, John, ask me to direct for him. i've gotta tell you, on one level, it went really great! on another level, it sucked eggs.

remember how i was concerned about my actors getting completely off book and ready for performance? well, they pulled through with flying colors, creating funny, full, comedic characters with depth and levels that made the show full, not fluff. i was very proud of them. the thing that sucked eggs? technical issues. every single friggin light cue was wrong and the music was late. grrrr. the tech probs were apparently due to a broken dvd player, which housed the sound cues. the stage manager was so focused on the sound problem, the light cues were out of synch. i gotta feel for her, having problems with hardware in a live situation must have been horrible for her to experience. i'm sure they're working out those bugs this afternoon for tonight's gig.

even though the light cues were messed up, the show still got lots of laughs and i was very proud of my boys. sitting in the dark audience, watching my actors give birth to a brand new show, i was sweating buckets - much more than i ever have as an actress. i even had to go and wash my pits in the bathroom afterward!

i'll try to video tape the show tonight and upload it for you to see. fingers crossed on my own technical ineptitude, which i can't blame of hardware issues, only ignorance. if i do this successfully, it will be a part of Citizen of the Month's Christmahanukwanzaakah Holiday Concert. Many thanks and blessing to blogger Neil Kramer, for creating such a wonderful community forum. his blog is a treat to read. Go there on monday to experience his online holiday extravaganza and return often for more fun and great writing.

# # #
update. it's 11:59 p.m. and i can't find the software or driver to upload my video. can you believe i've never uploaded a video before and don't know where the software is? oy.

in lieu of the video, here's a picture of my actors, the playwright (in red sweater) and yours truly:


a home made ornament:


and our traditional home made poptart cottages:


Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Hug the ones you love.

thoughts on the show

tonight is the first tech rehearsal for the christmas show. it's basically a meet and greet with the technical people and then running lights and sound, cue to cue.

my actors have the potential of being fantastic in their short play. the guy with the most experience (in film) seems to be the one holding up any real progress since he hasn't fully gotten off book. he's spread a bit thin doing showcases and background work in a paramount film. i'm assuming he'll be a late bloomer and miraculously be ready by final tech and opening. it just makes it hard to keep giving character notes and intricate bits and not see much progress in the pacing and timing of their argument when the momentum is killed with line problems. yesterday's rehearsal was supposed to be fully in character, but everyone broke character multiple times with dropped lines. i know this is to be expected at least once in a rehearsal period, but we've had very few opportunities to rehearse due to everyone's professional and work schedules.

this is a freebie production (actors are not paid) so i know it might not be their immediate priority, but it's their asses on the line if they screw up on stage. i want to see a clean performance with the nuances i've given them to make the audience laugh. that's my reward...getting the actor to a place where they have the audience engaged, laughing and enjoying their evening.

fingers crossed.

these are my actors. i consider myself very lucky to be directing them in a short play that will open on december 8th. i'm excited to be doing what i love, so i'm basically a very happy camper.

the bulk of my experience is as an actress. i've been one most of my life. not as a career, but in community theatre, college, local theatre houses, and, for a short period of time, as a working professional. i studied various forms of theatre with paul gregory, tom stoppard, marion ross, mac owen, an uta hagen workshop, and briefly studied at south coast rep. acting is where most of my experience lies, but i think directing is what i do best.

these men have talent. each is unique in what he does best and i can use what i know about theatre, life and how comedy fits into both to make these guys even better....to get a point across...to create a moment, a beat, to choreograph the actors in movement, in their gut motivation....to get a punchline right, to create a joke that's not in the script with just a few well timed looks. i want this to go well. not only for me, but for my actors, and the audience, who'll hopefully get to enjoy something we all created together.

thanksgiving approacheth

in just a couple of days it'll be thanksgiving. it's one of my favorite holidays, and i don't know why. well, yeah, i do. my mom hated it, as she wasn't much of a cook. she'd complain about what a hassle it was to spend all day in the kitchen to produce a huge dinner. as a kid, i loved setting the table with the 'good' china, and being trusted to put the pretty crystal glasses at each place setting. i loved sneaking the black olives throughout the day, putting them on each finger and running around the living room pretending i was some black frog creature, then plucking them off one by one and enjoying the salty smooth taste.

sitting around the table was special. my dad always worked late, my mom never really ate a typical dinner, and my older sis was always out and about, so the majority of my childhood dinners were eaten alone. but not on Thanksgiving. my grandma would visit and we all sat around the dining room table and talk. it might not have been the most interesting conversation in the world, but it gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling just having us all together. the food wasn't gourmet, but it was yummy, simple traditional thanksgiving food, even if my mom did make the instant mashed potatoes, and served the canned cranberry gelled sauce. i still enjoyed it all.

when i was a young married gal i worked hard trying to figure out how to make standard thanksgiving food that was not out of a box or can. i mashed real potatoes and made real gravy. both were full of lumps and love.

then there was the year i discovered melinda lee. i'm a talk radio junkie and listen to it whenever i'm driving. melinda had a saturday morning radio spot and her show was all about food. oh, joy of joys. i learned how to cook by listening to her exuberant descriptions of how great it was to brine a turkey. i had to try it. then she gave me a gift. the cranberry sauce i crave. this stuff is tasty next to the turkey, awesome on ice cream, and scrumptious when sneaking it out of the fridge with a spoon.

here's my fav cranberry recipe. i doubt you'll make it, but i want to share just because.


amaretto cranberry sauce
makes 1 quart

2 cups sugar
1 cup water
1 full pound raw cranberries
1/3 cup orange marmalade
juice of two lemons
1/2 cup blanched whole almonds (you can used slivered almonds, too. i've done both)
1/3 cup amaretto liqueur

bring the sugar and water to a boil in a saucepan. boil the syrup for 5 minutes. add the (washed and dried) cranberries and cook for about 5 minutes, until most (not all) of the skins have burst. remove pan from heat, then stir in marmalade and lemon juice.

transfer to plastic container. allow sauce to cool, then stir in almonds and amaretto. chill, baby.



I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving, full of friends, family and food so you get that warm and fuzzy feeling.


love,
mck.

morning quickie

sometimes a quickie in the morning is a good thing, so by all means, let's get it started.

* yesterday we weighed in for our coworkers' weight challenge. i made my goal, plus lost an extra 1.8 pounds, for a total of 9 so far. woo!

* yesterday was also the day i had the luck to go to court to discuss visitation rights with my ex and a court appointed mediator. 3 hours sitting in a little room with the biggest liar was a challenge, stressful and gave me the worst tension headache i've had in years. no agreement was reached, even though i offered up what i thought was a pretty generous compromise. so we get to go to court again on the 28th and do it all again in front of a judge. (throw in your favorite cuss words right here).

* did i mention i dig my new boss? he was very sympathetic about me having to miss half the day, and even called me after work to make sure i was okay, as when i returned to work, the stress clearly showed through my mega professional exterior. there are good guys in the world.

* i've purchased several new books. some as gifts and a few for me. me= a cool cookbook, Insomnia by s. king (recommended by a good bud), and Born Standing Up, by steve martin. i adore steve martin. his blend of comedic timing and esoteric intellectuality is quite a blend that mckay enjoys. i've read his other books, Shopgirl, The Pleasure of My Company, and some of his New Yorker essays. i may even drive up to los angeles to hear him speak coming up in the next few months. i don't think it's a book signing, but more of a lecture on his early comedic years. we'll see.


that's all for now. time to wake up mckid and take on the day. i hope yours is wonderful.

love,
mck.

love affair

it's been a long time coming, but it still caught me off guard. isn't that always the way with love? it hits you when you least expect it.

now that i've been out of my cave for awhile, i've begun to take a look around and most naturally, i've also been looking at myself with a fresh perspective. wanna know what i saw? someone who has not been good to herself. i finally realized that i've got to start liking myself more, taking care of me the way i do my loved ones. in fact, i need to love myself. sounds corny, but i need to put myself up on a pedestal and honor all that's worthy. i haven't been doing that.

i'm not 100% sure how to do this, so i'll probably be fumbling around a bit as this romance begins. it's awkward and weird, but right.

# # #

on another note, today i get to do something i've never done before. i get to participate in the great six week coworker lose-a-thon. several coworkers and i are going to weigh in, pool some cold, hard cash and see who is the biggest loser. i'm not going to be an overly competitive diet contest woman, but i think it'll be a good way to jump start my love affair.

here's what i've been having for breakfast for a week or two:


a few weeks ago i went to the vitamin store to get something good for my bod that'll give me some energy. kinda like buying flowers for a lover, but instead of roses i'm getting riboflavin. it's crushed ice, a little juice, some nonfat yogurt smoothie stuff, the vitamin protein powder and flax seed oil into a delish morning beverage. it's not too horrible to drink, and i've felt great each day i've imbibed. losing six pounds since i've started this is a plus, too.


yay me in a love affair.

impulse buy bye bye

i've got to nip this in the bud.

you see, i've caught a bit of a virus - the spending bug. lately i've been attracted to all things shiny & new, leathery & cushy, and just plain awesome. for a girl who hates shopping, i'm sure doing a bang up job of it these days.

it started out innocently enough. i'd been without a camera for almost a year and HAD to take pics of mckid's first day of kindergarten, right? i think you get reported to child protective services if you lapse on this task.

i've been living in my new abode for almost two years now without any normal furniture. by normal i mean, without baby stains, torn corners, green marker drawings and basic cushiony goodness sans sagginess. must i say it? my furniture was hitonious. i waited for the best possible alignment of the universe's mojo (the no tax, free delivery, no interest, take three years to pay and oh, yeah, 30% off sale) and bought not one, but two badly needed couches. woo!

then it was mandatory to upgrade my ancient, but still perfectly working cell phone to the new-fangled qwerty keyboard smartypants phone, WITH music capabilities.....all for the sake of spending quality texting time with mckteen (which, btw, was downright affordable after the corporate slave discount and handy dandy rebate). i'm gonna send her a txt right now....just because i CAN! how cool is that? tech gadgets ROCK!

then i was buying sack lunch fixin's for mckid at the local buy more club and what do i bring home?










a flat screen tv.
with built in dvd player, no less.


now, wait. before you send the spendy spend police to come cut up my smokin' credit card... i had a good reason for this purchase. i was feeling sorry for myself.

this was the first year mckid spent halloween night with his dad. i was to be all alone and not one of the parents perambulating around the neighborhood as the kidlets gathered their candies. poor me.

with this predicament, i wanted to find some way to make the evening semi special and watching my favorite flick while passing out candy seemed the perfect fix. but alas, i had no suitable tv downstairs or mode to watch said favorite flick. hence, the impulse buy.

i know the beautiful little flat screen must go back and it will today. i also know there's a lot more to happiness than stuff. whenever mckid and mckteen are gone there's an empty spot in my heart that can't be filled with electronics or movies or any other thing. i'll go about my business, learn new things, take on new projects and live life with as much vim and vigor as possible. i owe it to myself and my kids to do so. that way they'll always see me with arms open wide and a goofy grin upon their return.