Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Rob Thomas - Little Wonders

each phase of my life has a theme song, and this song seems to fit in quite nicely where i find myself.




Artist: Rob Thomas Lyrics
Song: Little Wonders Lyrics

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we'll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain.

### expanded post, for sam.

Cut it Away by Jackson Browne and Boulevard Of Broken Dreams by Nickelback were the two songs I embraced during my wounded and cave hiding periods. They spoke to my pain, anger, hurt and lonliness.


since I’ve left the dark safety of the cave, Rob Thomson’s song speaks volumes to me. I heard it on the radio and didn’t think much of it, other than it was a nice song. a few weeks ago, I was at a matinee with mckid and my mckteen, watching Meet the Robinsons. The song played as the credits rolled. As the lyrics filled the dark theatre, I started crying…


let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine

it was as if I were being given permission to move on (or i finally got my noggin screwed on right to let it sink in). I cried silent tears in the dark…ready to emotionally let go and stop playing the award-winning role of victim. Life will still be difficult when dealing with the ex, but I’m okay with that and acting accordingly – trying to keep the peace while protecting my little boy’s health and heart.

i’ve been a very happy person in the past and I want to be that person again. finding solice in solitude and food only makes for a fat lonley person and that’s just not me…anymore.

Sam asked if I found something I’d been missing…maybe. My few dates with my bud opened my eyes and reminded me what it feels like to be happy and involved in something other than work and home. I don’t think we have a romantic future as a couple, but spending time with him reminded me how good life is when it’s full of friends, activities, and service. Dang, it’s about being and feeling alive. Screw the past! Learn from it, sure, but don’t let it bury you.

so, i like the song. works for me :0)

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

time with mckteen

wanna hear about the best 30 minutes of my life? ranks right up there with giving birth, wedding days, and helping my mom through her cancer journey.

driving 12 hours roundtrip by myself to see my daughter dressed for prom, looking beautiful and happy - surrounded by her close friends and the neighborhood parents who adore her was so much more powerful than i imagined. my girl had a good, solid network of friends and i was so proud to have moms coming up to me, introducing themselves and letting me know how they cared about and respected my daughter. i let them know, in return, how thankful i was for their part in raising my daughter to be such a wonderful young lady.

i mean, i always knew she was special, with a strong mind of her own..did i ever tell you about the time when she was 17 months old and getting ready for halloween? i had slaved and sweated over a homemade harlequin costume made out of black and white taffeta, gold bric-a-brac and little brass bells on the chest and hat. it was adorable and my little baby girl absolutely refused to go near the thing. she'd squirm out of my arms and run from the room anytime i tried to hold it up to her for a fitting. it got to the point where she'd scream and cry if i tried to put it on her.

i was at a loss. what to do?! this was her very first halloween night of trick-or-treating and my special plan of the ultimate cutsie costume was failing fast. maybe she'd just have to walk the neighborhood in her dr. dentons.

halloween night was here and the tot still was refusing the harlequin jingle belled costume. wouldn't even try on the pointy hat.....until the boy across the street arrived as the very first trick-or-treater of the night. dressed in a peter pan costume, he rang the doorbell, said the magic words and received the manna - a couple of pieces of candy from the big plastic bowl mom had away from tot's reach.

well, as soon as mcktot saw peter pan get candy for his efforts, she put one & one together in her baby brain and demanded to put on the costume in order to follow peter pan's lead. she pulled out all the stops, too, shaking her head to jingle the bells. all the neighborhood moms got such a kick out of seeing her toddle and jingle her way past pumpkins and into fistfuls of sweet tarts.

...well, you can see she started out with a strong will and a quick brain, and now she's added a good heart, common sense and lots of love to become a truly fantastic person. i love my mckteen with all my heart and i will treasure our prom shopping and pre prom picture party memories forever.