Thursday, March 30, 2006

model behavior

Naomi Campbell Charged With Assault
Thursday, March 30, 2006

NEW YORK — Naomi Campbell was charged with second-degree assault Thursday after cracking her housekeeper in the head with a phone during an argument in her Park Avenue apartment, police said.

The 35-year-old British-born supermodel was taken into custody shortly after police went to Lenox Hill Hospital to investigate the reported assault, police said.Campbell was charged after questioning at the Midtown North Precinct, where scores of photographers, reporters and film crews awaited her exit.

According to police, Campbell's 41-year-old housekeeper received four stitches to the head. When investigating officers arrived at the hospital, the alleged victim, who wasn't identified, said Campbell had attacked her, police said. The incident allegedly happened around 8 a.m. in Campbell's tony Park Avenue apartment.

In a statement, a Campbell spokesman said the supermodel wasn't responsible for any assault.

"We believe this is a case of retaliation, because Naomi had fired her housekeeper earlier this morning," said the statement from J.R. Johnson. "We are confident the courts will see it the same way."

Campbell, one of the world's most recognizable faces, was discovered at age 15. She launched a career that landed her in magazines worldwide — including the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

In 2003, she was sued by a former administrative assistant who alleged that Campbell had thrown a phone at her during a tantrum two years earlier.

Campbell pleaded guilty in Toronto to an assault charge for beating another assistant while making a film in Canada in 1998.

She has also battled a cocaine addiction.

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Watch out! She's gotta PHONE!

mckay says, “OMG, someone needs to add “no phones allowed” to her probation rules!..and who in their right mind would work for a lady with such a notorious history of going ballistic on assistants and/or housekeepers?!”

I answered my own question, didn’t I? No one in their right mind would work for such a shrew. If they knew the pattern, then they chose money over safety. If they didn’t know, then they have lived under a rock for the past decade and have no internet connection to keep up on the celebrities in hissy fit hot water.

Being an administrative assistant to a powerful female executive, I count my blessings that I am currently in my dream secretary job. My boss is powerful, fair, kind and quite the classy lady. I can honestly say that I have not had a phone thrown at me, nor have I been cracked over the noggin with a Nextel.

Monday, March 27, 2006

top this

It was a dark and stormy night. Well, early morning, and a bit cloudy, actually. Coming home from a semi wonderful trip to Italy (loved the country; the travel companion had some mental issues I’ll save for another time). It was a looong flight home and I had the fat (sexual orientation in question) lady from hell sitting next to me. her thigh fat oozed so far, wide and high, that she spilled over into my seat and the arm rest refused to go down as her cellulite kept it at a 'heil hitler' 45 degree angle.

Behind me was a family whose dad thought it was a wonderful idea to keep his toddler on his lab and let the child kick the back of my seat for entertainment. Non stop. Kick. Kick. Kick. When I ever so politely asked him to not have his son kick the back of my seat, he gave me the evil eye and informed me his son was ‘just a kid’.

“Yeah, and you’re an insensitive prick. Turn your son around and let him kick you in the groin for a bit and give my lower back a rest.”

Didn’t say it, just thought it... a lot.

Fat oozing to the right of me, kicking behind me and my travel companion snored all the way home.

(note: i've never, ever said the word 'prick' out loud in my life, but it sure feels good to type it. this blog is my alter ego, 'damn all those newport beach cotillion lessons and let it all out' therapy)

anyone care to share their travel horrors?

Friday, March 03, 2006

side effects

(disclaimer: someone sent this to me in an email. it's a hoot)

"Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister."


I’ve tried this Tequila®. I can testify that some of the side effects are accurate. Some I have not experienced and I think that’s a good thing.

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