Saturday, September 02, 2006

this bud ain't for you

i'm not the type of gal who's afraid of bugs or spiders, i have no problem carefully squishing the occasional black widow, and i usually give the cute-ish i.e. harmless spiders a ride outside on a paper napkin.

so, when i get a mombo huge grasshopper in my garden, my first instinct is to look at how cool it is, admire the almost fluorescent shade of green and be quietly happy that i have a lil friend in my garden.


until i figured out that this is the guy who's the culprit behind all my damaged rosebuds. who knew that the grass- hopper's favorite meal in the whole wide world is the young rosebud just before it blooms? not this novice gardener, that's for sure.

this dang grasshopper was getting fat and happy off my adopted rose bushes i just planted in march. they were given to me by a coworker who was remodeling his backyard. i took these dormant bushes and gave them a new home and i didn't want them to be eaten alive by the grasshopper from hell. i had no blooms, because of this green eating machine. all i had were empty stems.

i took my handy dandy garden hose to spray the heck outta the green eating machine. instead of flying away in fear for its life, it flew through the spray and directly into my face. i had no idea grasshoppers were so aggressive! after i stopped flailing my arms like a spaz i was fairly soaked and just a little bit pissed. i turned up the water pressure and took aim a second time with the full intention of letting the hopper know i meant business.

leave my buds alone, bud. this bud ain't for you. i sprayed the hopper to the cement and kept spraying until it was across the street. HA!

the next morning he was back. i went inside to get an old tupperware container, poked a few holes in it and trapped him. boy that thing was pissed. he practically threw himself against the plastic trying to escape.

i decided to take him far, far away. the grasshopper now lives on the grassy knoll beside my reserved parking spot at work. some days i imagine him sitting on my windshield begging to come home for some of those tasty buds. i felt a little bad bugnapping him like that, but i've gotten over it since i've done the same for his relatives. i've relocated four grasshoppers since last week. am i nuts?

anyways, this morning i took a pic of one of my roses for you to see. finally, a rose in full bloom!


TheCleaningWoman said...

Can we send you some of our bugs? That might change your mind!!

Beautiful flowers. So you've done your own garden makeover now?

theresa said...

I'm laughing at work right now....I would do and have done the same thing! I feel too horrible if I kill anything, except mosquitos, they deserve to die! Glad to have you back, I was worried that you were still sick.

Dave Morris said...

My way would have been simpler. *squish!*

mckay said...

cw, aussie bugs are feaky big, i bet.

theresa, ooooo ..mosquitos are the dregs of bugdom. even to spell it gives me a headache.

dave, LOL. reading your post in my email inbox, i could only hope you were talking about the grasshoppers and not the boobie bra models :0)