ruka shuk a fruk!#@*&!

argh. and to make matters worse, my ex-hubby refuses to verify employment.

(as you can see, i'm still on a rant)

i divorced him because he chose to do a despicable thing. an unforgivable thing. (this is hubby #2, btw. hubby #1 only cheated and left me for the slutty flute player. this was worse).

i know, i know. i have a defective hubby picker gene.

when we got married i quit my corporate job to help him run his business. Now that we're divorced, he's refused to have his staff verify that i worked there for 5 years. i never took a paycheck, so technically i wasn't an employee, but i was the financial controller of the business, ran the office and the HR, payroll and payables aspects of the place.

i think he's a little pissed off that i helped try to get him put in jail.

ya think?

Lessons in Letting Go

For months now I’ve been communicating with a loan broker about rates, plans, and such. I was pre-approved months ago. She rattled off prices and mortgage payments so I knew what price range I could consider.

Now it’s the 11th hour and the story changes.

The minimal review loan process has changed to a full review. She wanted to lie about my job title and income on the loan. I refused to lie, so now I might not get approved, which means no house..or get the house at a higher interest rate on a no doc loan. Why can’t people be up front about stuff instead of playing salesperson and saying what you want to hear until it’s too late to back out??? Why am I trying so hard to get a nice house in a good school district that now they say is out of my league? Maybe I just need to face facts and sell most of my furniture, rent an apartment, get rid of my dogs, sell my RX300 and get a Kia. Darn.

I pray. I cry a bit in private. I let go. I wait. I pack.

Load up the van, boys. Moving Day Approaches!

Yes, my house finally sold and I’m thrilled, nervous, and losing sleep. I’m buying a house that’s half the size, and is only 15 minutes away from work. My current commute takes 45 minutes in the morning and 1.5 hours each night. Think of all the things I plan on doing with this extra time!! I plan on actually going to the gym after work, as there shouldn’t be any excuses not to swing by the gym to get sweaty.

I’ve been postponing having my son attend preschool, because I couldn’t commit to being home by 6:30 to pick him up, and I really didn’t want him bonding with teachers and classmates, then have to pull him out of the school to relocate to a different city. So, when the move’s complete he’ll attend a little neighborhood preschool that’s right around the corner from the new home.

I’ll be moving the nanny with me, if she doesn’t find a new gig. The plan is to have her move in with my sister’s brother-in-law’s family. They’re expecting a second baby in the coming months and are trying to sell their tiny home and get bigger digs to accommodate babies and a nanny. But, alas, their real estate deal fell through, so they’re stuck in the small house with no room for a nanny for the time being.

The nanny will be sleeping on the couch or an air mattress after the move, as I’m downsizing from a 4 bedroom to a 3 bedroom, selling my master bedroom furniture and I’ll be using her bed as my own. Juggling space planning issues, personnel issues…it’s just like corporate life.

I wish I had the life I planned on: being the stay at home mom and loving wifey. Ahh, but real life turned out vastly different than my dream life. I play the corporate game, but my heart’s not in it. I’d much rather be with my kids, playing with them, driving them to school, making lunches, having dinner on the table..all that Betty Crocker kind of stuff. Forget liberal feminism for me. My kind of feminism means being the woman God intended me to be, so I’ll continue to make lemonade outta my life lemons. I found a good recipe in my Betty Crocker Cookbook for Life.

been there; done that

Lazy blog:

Bold = been there, done that

smoked a cigarette (as an actress in a play, and a few puffs of my then-boyfriend's cig a lifetime time ago)
crashed a friend's car (it was just a dent, then he kissed me to make me stop crying)
stolen a car
been in love
been dumped (no comment)
shoplifted (young and stupid)
been fired (waitress gig at Ed Debevec's. i complained about a non-tip, which is grounds for immediate dismissal)
been in a fist fight
snuck out of your parent's house
had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (sigh)
gone on a blind date
lied to a friend (don't know what about, but i must have at some point)
skipped school (college not, high school)
seen someone die (I was by my mom’s bedside when her 5 year fight with cancer ended)
had a crush on one of your internet friends
been to Canada
been to Mexico
been around the world
been on a plane
purposely set a part of yourself on fire (??)
eaten sushi
been jet-skiing
met someone in person from the internet
been moshing at a concert
taken pain killers
loved and missed someone
made a snow angel
had a tea party – (isn't tea party slang for heroin use?) I’ve had fancy lady tea parties with scones, dainty china and pretty dresses
flown a kite (my Uncle Tom used to bring a kite every time he visited us, as we lived on the edge of a small cliff with great ocean breezes)
built a sand castle
gone puddle jumping
jumped in a pile of leaves
gone sledding
cheated while playing a game (just last night. I was playing ‘Life’ with my three year old son. I silently refused to have either of us pay tax.)
been lonely - Like Steve Martin's "The Lonely Guy?" (this is my ‘currently playing’ life-imitates-movie on a replay loop)
fallen asleep at work or school (when I was pregnant I had to take some nasty medication to keep from miscarrying. It made me fall asleep, and since I was married to the boss, slept on his office couch)
used a fake id (I had no desire to drink and party when I was a teen)
watched a sunset (every chance I get)
felt an earthquake (I’m a born & raised southern californian)
touched a snake (in india, no less)
slept beneath the stars (on a ship traveling around the world, and on a houseboat. both great fun)
been robbed (someone broke into my apartment when I was a single gal. I was at home asleep at the time)
been misunderstood (duh)
petted a reindeer/goat (over rated activity. Goats have creepy eyes)
won a contest (a transistor radio in grade school for selling tidings subscriptions)
run a red light/stop sign (oops)
been suspended from school
been in a car accident (lady ran a red light and totaled my car – ouch!)
eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (a few months ago I was in a show where my character had to chow down on a container of ice cream. It was a 6 week run and I gained 10 pounds)
had deja vu- didn't you just ask me that?
danced in the moonlight (good stuff. I highly recommend this…works well when paired with sleeping under the stars)
liked the way you looked at least at one point in time (i so sexy)
witnessed a crime (I’m currently in the witness protection program. don’t tell anyone)
been obsessed with post-it notes
squished barefoot through the mud
been lost
been on the opposite side of the country
swam in the ocean
cried yourself to sleep
played cops and robbers
recently colored with crayons
sung karaoke (poorly)
paid for a meal with only coins (hey, a girl’s gotta eat)
done something you told yourself you wouldn't (eat gummy bears)
made prank phone calls
laughed until some kinda beverage came out of your nose laughter ROCKS!
caught a snow flake on your tongue (simple pleasures are the best).
written a letter to Santa Claus (mine was so goofy the local newspaper printed it)
been kissed under the mistletoe by your boyfriend
blown bubbles
made a bonfire on the beach
cheated on a test (I’m not proud of my youthful errors in judgement)
been kissed by someone you didn't like (being an actress is a gift and a curse)
gone skinny dipping in a pool (pool-no. ocean-yes.)
laughed so hard you pee your pants (I have a weak bladder)