i lied

taking down the repulsive wallpaper is not my next project. i have a busted toilet. the good news is the toilet will be replaced via my homeowner's warranty. the bad (and good) news is i want to replace the linoleum, as whoever laid it down decided to go the lazy man's route and cut the linoleum around the toilet base instead of taking out the toilet and then laying down the linoleum. did i mention i hate linoleum? ewu.

not only do i get to replace the linoleum (i have never typed that work so much as i have in the past few minutes) in the kid's bathroom, i really need to pull up the same cheap stuff in the laundry room, and my bathroom. and guess what? i'm gonna do it all myself! and i have no idea what i'm doing!! woo!

i've seen many home improvement tv shows (which i love to watch) and i watched the pros do the job when i was once a richy rich wife. to tackle this all by myself is a tad daunting, so i kinda asked my sister for advice, but she didn't offer to help. i have an old friend i could call to get his assistance, but i don't want him to think i call only when i need help (i called him last year when i moved back into town to touch base. we had dinner and did a movie. it was nice. comfortable. way in the past he wanted romance and i said no and eventually married my ex)...so you can see why asking his home improvement help isn't such a good idea when he hasn't called me in ages to say hi. i mentioned my project to a director at work, whom i know has done tons of home improvement projects, and he's offered to be my tile guru. i'm grateful for his offer to help, i just hope his wifey understands that my seeking his advice is as innocent as it gets. i am no hubby staling hoochiemamma.

i do have to say, it's times like these when i miss having a partner. tackling a project with a pal makes it much more fun and it's great to be able to look back and say, "wow ain't we somethin?"

i'll just have to settle for awesome looking floors :0). wish me luck!

IF i did it?

let me just say this: if any of you fine readers buy this book i will have to get in my car, on a plane, boat or yak to come slap you silly.

who thought up that title? the publisher? the author? "if i did it"???? i could go on a tirade that'd make naomi campbell blush, but i will keep this brief.

the murderer who shall remain nameless is shameless and, as the publisher kinda points out, is a sociopath. i honestly think the publisher is shameless, as well. any rationalizing she has done to justify her publishing this book doesn't meet my standards of a stand up kinda gal. to use her abuse as a vehicle, rationale and excuse for publishing this wad of trash makes my skin crawl.


my personal hurdle is to get over what happened to my family. i need to not have 'that" be my defining moment in my life...my reason for X, Y and Z. i need to move on and find something other than that horrific experience be what makes me ME. i haven't done it yet because i tend to still look at my life as "before that happend and after that happened". i know i must get to a point when i don't think that way. i just want my daughter back. i won't write a book about it. i won't have it be a movie of the week. i won't put my kids through that. ever.

how could he?

as i said. shameless.

next project to take on after the holidays

i've entitled this "beatrix potter threw up on wallpaper. perhaps that's a bit unkind, but the second i saw this paper ensemble i knew it would have to come down. what i would really like to do is tear down the whole wall and move it about 5 feet out to make a bigger kitchen. but them's caviar dreams on a popcorn budget. we'll see....

what's in a name?

after almost a year in my new abode i've finally bonded with a neighbor. our kids get along, our dogs don't fight and we both share an ardent connection with italy, tuscany and venice. we've already made a giggly girl pack to re-visit Venice together....someday.

but what i can't keep straight are the names of her daughter and her dog. one's Bella- one's Gigi. i grew up knowing a girl named Gigi and a once-upon-a-time family member had a dog named Belle. i have to say, i'm a bit afraid of offending her by calling her daughter by the dog's name - and *poof* there goes my newly formed friendship.

i know that there's a trendy trend to name one's pet with a 'people' name - Eric, Elizabeth, Roger, etc... in fact, i once had a cat named Sam. but doncha think it gets confusing for the general public? it used to be Fido, Spot and Rex. now it's Ashley, Bob and Paul.

it gets sillier. i had a dog named Cheyenne. there's a little girl named Cheyenne at my son's school.

when did names get so interchangeable? personally i find it very confusing.

just be

i read this today and thought i'd share it with you. be well...or just be.

There is no lesson for today. You have permission to stop thinking for a moment and just enjoy yourself. Stop looking at your computer so much and go look at the world. Rediscover the natural wonders that you walk past every day. How can there possibly be that many shades of green? Let your mind be grateful for a break. Don't think, don't strain. Let the memories of loved ones remind you of your favorite times. Close your eyes and try to smell the sunshine. Listen to your heart beat in your ears.



If it's raining, smile at the thought of the flowers that will soon follow.


If you're surrounded by buildings, celebrate the creative genius of human beings.











See the hope, the alarm, the love, the grief in faces that stream by.




Thank whomever you'd like to thank for the chance to even be here. For a moment today, don't worry about being perfect, smarter, faster, wiser. Just be.

overdue post

what?! you want happiness and love? go somewhere else, you dopes. this is national bad mood day. grrrrrrrrr.




okay, so i'm not really in a bad mood, but i know i'm way overdue in getting a post out. work life's been very busy now that the CIO has moved on. i'm doing tons more decision making and strategic planning (what to get for lunch) for the executives than i thought i would during this transition. seriously, i'm involved in more meetings to help redefine areas of responsibility, keeping the execs focused on deadlines to corporate, and using the fine art of bossing around people who are 5 pay grades higher to make sure they're not running around all willy nilly promoting people to positions that don't exist in the HR job codes (snore, i know) etc.... basically i'm the office mom. adored, sometimes ignored, but ultimately respected (even though they might stick their tongues out at me behind my back, just like son did last night, but that's a whole other story).

here's my plan for today:
getting this post finished while the laundry room is noisy with the cleaning of clothes, shower, then taking my son to home depot for their 'first saturday of the month' kids' workshop. he's been dying to wack a hammer and pound some nails all week, so today's the day.


but what i'm really looking forward to is national bittersweet chocolate with almonds day on 11/7. life is good when chocolate is in my future.


p.s. 11/7 is also election day. get out the vote and the chocolate. woo!