recognizing my own rowboat

dawnie, left me a comment this morning about rick, "Oh, poo on Rick! Doesn't he know a good thing when he sees it? Grrrrr!!"

it's funny, because that's just what i was thinking this morning. he and i talked a while ago about his search for a love, and he mentioned his friends think he's nuts. some might think he's searching for someone perfect and unobtainable who just might not exist. rick swears she's out there - he just hasn't met her yet. it reminded me of this joke:

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It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"

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when we first got together rick talked about God brining us together and exploring this opportunity. i'm sure rick has met many nice and wonderful women over the years, and he says he's actively looking. i pray he finds what he's looking for, and when he finds it, that he recognizes it.

me? in a few weeks when my church deacon returns from vacation i'll start exploring an annulment. i've spend the last five years going through the grieving process and now i feel this annulment will be my next journey. annulments are a bit painful - having to review and journal about the relationship and marriage, but i think this is what i need to do before i can fully commit to anyone or just be fully free.


it's my next rowboat.

the no topic post

i have no idea what this post will be about. i just want to get the last post behind me. i do still have stitches to be removed, which, frankly, i'm dying to yank out. they're so itchy! i would if i could reach them.

update:
i could not, would not take pics of my stitches, sam i am, but for your gory enjoyment here is a more realistic pic of stitches. these are not MY stitches, but are very similar in length - just add one more stitch to the row and you've got my wound. i do; however, think my doc is a more skilled knitter.

update on rick?
back to friends, it seems. ...and the dance continues. yes, he did send me a birthday card in the mail and an e-card, signed....your friend, rick. when we're apart we are in friend mode, but when we get together there is an invisible force of attraction that neither one of us chooses to ignore. that is, until the next time we get together. mckay knows it's time i set a firm boundary and say, "no milk unless you date the cow."

wait, that sounds all wrong.


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i have a second phone interview with a large medical corporation tomorrow morning. i've decided it's time to start looking around for some new opportunities..


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why is it i get men giving me ’the look’ when i'm out driving, but never when i'm out n about walking around?? is it my car or my butt?


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i bought a new couch this week. my sis works at restoration hardware and i got 40% off the most scrumptious leather couch i've ever seen. it's like butta. rick sure is missing out on some good couch time. damn.

go away if you puke easily. go now.

be forwarned, this post is not for the squimish. if you have a weak heart, constitution or bladder. go away now.


so. here's what i'm doing on my birthday this year....having a cyst removed. it's gotten so huge and painful i don't want to put it off for another minute. i was supposed to have it removed last thursday, but as i was chatting with the doc while he was shooting my back up with novicane type stuff, i mentioned i was going camping. he didn't want to do slice into my back and then have me out in the woods, so there i am with about seven needle pokes in my back and we stop.

and guess what? it seems the needle pokes aggrivated the cyst and now it's .......gross and painful. really painful. so i moved my rescheduled appointment from the 9th to the 5th.

here's my birthday fun:

EQUIPMENT

Nonsterile Tray for Anesthesia
Place the following items on a nonfenestrated drape covering a Mayo stand:
Nonsterile gloves and mask
1 inch of 4 X 4 gauze soaked with povidone-iodine solution
1 inch of 4 X 4 gauze
5-mL syringe, filled with 2 percent lidocaine with epinephrine (Xylocaine with epinephrine) with a 30-gauge needle
25-gauge, 1¼-inch needle (for anesthetizing beneath the cyst)
Sterile Tray for the Procedure
Place the following items on a sterile drape covering a Mayo stand:
Sterile gloves
Fenestrated disposable drape
Two sterile bandages to anchor the drape
Three small-tipped hemostats (mosquito clamps)
No. 11 blade
Needle holder for suturing (if needed)
Iris scissors
Adson forceps
2 inches of 4 3 4 sterile gauze
Suture materials (if needed)
Splatter control shield (if desired)
Some physicians use the nonsterile gloves that were used to administer the anesthesia for the removal of small or superficial cysts.

Procedure Description



FIGURE 1. Incision in the top of a cyst with a no. 11 blade. The cyst is squeezed to remove all of the cyst contents. A hemostat can be placed in the incision and the blades opened while the cyst is squeezed to facilitate removal of the cyst contents.


FIGURE 2. After vigorous squeezing, removing the cyst contents and loosening the cyst wall from the surrounding tissue, a hemostat is placed in the wound, and the entire cyst wall is gently delivered through the small incision.
The skin overlying the site is cleansed with povidone-iodine solution. The skin overlying the cyst and the tissue to the sides and beneath the cyst are anesthetized with 2 percent lidocaine with epinephrine.
A fenestrated drape can be placed on the patient, with the lesion beneath the fenestration. A no. 11 blade is used to create a stab incision into the center of the cyst. A small-tipped hemostat is placed into the cyst, the tips gently opened and compression applied to allow the cyst contents to pass through the opening (Figure 1).
The hemostat can be removed, and both thumbs are used to express the cyst contents. Gauze or a splatter shield can be used to shield the physician from splatter. The hemostat can be reinserted, if needed, to assist with passage of the sebaceous material.
Following vigorous and complete expression, the hemostat is reintroduced into the cyst cavity, and the capsule at the base of the wound is grasped and elevated. An attempt should be made to gently remove the entire sac through the small opening (Figure 2). The sac may break, and several pieces may need to be removed.

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so, if you're still here and reading, you are amazingly strong and not easily grossed out. let's go shoot oysters.
love, mck.