Tuesday, July 03, 2007

go away if you puke easily. go now.

be forwarned, this post is not for the squimish. if you have a weak heart, constitution or bladder. go away now.

so. here's what i'm doing on my birthday this year....having a cyst removed. it's gotten so huge and painful i don't want to put it off for another minute. i was supposed to have it removed last thursday, but as i was chatting with the doc while he was shooting my back up with novicane type stuff, i mentioned i was going camping. he didn't want to do slice into my back and then have me out in the woods, so there i am with about seven needle pokes in my back and we stop.

and guess what? it seems the needle pokes aggrivated the cyst and now it's .......gross and painful. really painful. so i moved my rescheduled appointment from the 9th to the 5th.

here's my birthday fun:


Nonsterile Tray for Anesthesia
Place the following items on a nonfenestrated drape covering a Mayo stand:
Nonsterile gloves and mask
1 inch of 4 X 4 gauze soaked with povidone-iodine solution
1 inch of 4 X 4 gauze
5-mL syringe, filled with 2 percent lidocaine with epinephrine (Xylocaine with epinephrine) with a 30-gauge needle
25-gauge, 1¼-inch needle (for anesthetizing beneath the cyst)
Sterile Tray for the Procedure
Place the following items on a sterile drape covering a Mayo stand:
Sterile gloves
Fenestrated disposable drape
Two sterile bandages to anchor the drape
Three small-tipped hemostats (mosquito clamps)
No. 11 blade
Needle holder for suturing (if needed)
Iris scissors
Adson forceps
2 inches of 4 3 4 sterile gauze
Suture materials (if needed)
Splatter control shield (if desired)
Some physicians use the nonsterile gloves that were used to administer the anesthesia for the removal of small or superficial cysts.

Procedure Description

FIGURE 1. Incision in the top of a cyst with a no. 11 blade. The cyst is squeezed to remove all of the cyst contents. A hemostat can be placed in the incision and the blades opened while the cyst is squeezed to facilitate removal of the cyst contents.

FIGURE 2. After vigorous squeezing, removing the cyst contents and loosening the cyst wall from the surrounding tissue, a hemostat is placed in the wound, and the entire cyst wall is gently delivered through the small incision.
The skin overlying the site is cleansed with povidone-iodine solution. The skin overlying the cyst and the tissue to the sides and beneath the cyst are anesthetized with 2 percent lidocaine with epinephrine.
A fenestrated drape can be placed on the patient, with the lesion beneath the fenestration. A no. 11 blade is used to create a stab incision into the center of the cyst. A small-tipped hemostat is placed into the cyst, the tips gently opened and compression applied to allow the cyst contents to pass through the opening (Figure 1).
The hemostat can be removed, and both thumbs are used to express the cyst contents. Gauze or a splatter shield can be used to shield the physician from splatter. The hemostat can be reinserted, if needed, to assist with passage of the sebaceous material.
Following vigorous and complete expression, the hemostat is reintroduced into the cyst cavity, and the capsule at the base of the wound is grasped and elevated. An attempt should be made to gently remove the entire sac through the small opening (Figure 2). The sac may break, and several pieces may need to be removed.

# # # #
so, if you're still here and reading, you are amazingly strong and not easily grossed out. let's go shoot oysters.
love, mck.


SAM I AM said...

hey mac
dont know if i got through before or not. saw your post over at normans. thought i would say hello. you left a couple of great movies off your list .casablanca and the african queen.
had a cyst cut out of my leg, cut squeeze and sew was pretty much the way it went
good luck

mckay said...

yep, casablanca and african queen are tip top flicks, but they don't rattle my senses like others do (roman holiday, for instance). thanks for stopping by and creating an account instead of being mr anonymous.

i'm not worried about the procedure, but i'm not happy that all those needle pokes made a huge mess outta the thing to be removed. i think it might make it a little trickier since it's tripled in size.

Anonymous said...

Cool. I just have something inside me that just loves this. I would love to be able to remove stuff like that professionally.

Happy Birthday!


SAM I AM said...

hey mac
if you dont think casablanca is the greatest movie ever, how about the big chill, last tango in paris, and best of all, blazing saddles

mckay said...

jef - LOL i totally get that.

you are - believe it or not, i've never seen last tango in paris, but i do think brando was one of the best actors ever. the big chill is wonderful and reminds me of my college years. i think that was one of the first soundtracks i ever bought. i can agree on blazing saddles, but my heart belongs to young frankenstein as one of my favorite all time flicks.

ablondeblogger said...

Hey Mckay!

Believe it or not, I've been through this (then again, what medical problem have I NOT been through! LOL)

You want to know a secret about me? Something I rarely tell anyone?

I have a head covered in cysts. How's that for gross? The only people that know about it are my doctors and my hairdresser, lol. (and of course my close friends and family)

Anyway, one got so large that I had to have it removed and it was very easy. Not painful at all.

The funny thing was, since the scalp bleeds easily, I had all of this blood in my hair when they were done and I had to walk out to the parking lot like that, lol.

I have another one that's gotten very large that I want removed. It doesn't hurt and you can't see it. It just bugs the crap out of me.

Good luck with your procedure!

ablondeblogger said...

Oh shit! Here I am rambling on and I forgot the most important thing!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Hope you have a good time...aside from the cyst removal!

Mr. Althouse said...

Happy B-day, Mck! I had that done a long time ago - looks like the procedure hasn't changed much. And after my extended hospital stay, not much grosses me out. How many people do you know who have touched their own large intestine? I rest my case.


Jamie Dawn said...

Eeeeew and more eeeew!
What an incredible birthday!!
I guess you and I were both undergoing gross procedures on that fateful day.
I wish you a non-gross year with lots of joy and many blessings.
Happy Belated Birthday, you cyst-free woman, you!

sookeyjane said...

ah, mackay, rather like being a teenager again with a REALLY BIG ZIT :)

hope the bday was happy and you have decysted.

Michele said...

Damn it! Here I sit all pleased with myself that next month I will celebrate my birthday by renting a beach house with three friends for the weekend. Plans were to drink more than we should, talk about men (or our lack thereof), plot revenge on select men (due to their lack thereof), and enjoy a wonderfully painless weekend.

Now You (person I have never met but already like) go and share your birthday plans. What does your birthday promise that mine does not? A theme, dammit! You get equipment, injection, pain AND a male doctor. As you already know I get lack thereof of all things you will not.

Damn you for stomping on my happy plans.

Have fun. Happy Birthday. And thank you for stopping by my blog. Now I shall go and pout....

mckay said...

dawnie, OMG! you are so funny!

sam, usually your comments leave me a bit tingly, but this one did not. work on that, wouldja?

jamie, sigh. what can i say?

sook, the HUUUUUUGE zit has been successfully replaced with 5 itching stiches i desperately want to yank out.

michelle, i know my life is to be envied, but i would be generous and still attend your festivities and not gloat too much on all my fine luck. thanks for stopping by and i'll await your invite and directions to the beach house ;0)

Emma Sometimes said...

Ouch ouch ouch.
A birthday poem for you:
May your birthday be super
May your cyst not grow fatter
May your procedure go well
May your doc avoid splatter.

You probably have your stitches out by now?

utenzi said...

That is kinda gross. I think I'd best not think about oysters for q while... *gulp*

sage said...

saw your name at Michele's and stopped over to check you out... This was pretty interesting--I should send the folks at my blog who got tired of hearing about my 50th Birthday present (a colonscopy) over here.

As for oysters, I grew up on the coast and eat 'em with the best, ever had one right out of the water? Wash the mud off, pop the shell and pop it in!

HP said...

Aieee. You should have supplied a vomit bag with that post for us who get easily queasy!!

Hope it went well.