Wednesday, April 19, 2006

only the lonely

With my recent move and my subsequent purchase of a new satellite system and the infamous tivo, I’ve joined the better late than never club: I’ve started watching the ancient cultural phenomenon known as Sex and the City, all cleaned up, mind you, which suits me fine.

Tonight’s episode was about the single’s plight of living in a married world. Oh, the sorrow, to attend parties where all present are paired like occupants in noah’s ark and you’re the single orphan, receiving looks of both sympathy and suspicion. Blah, blah, blah…

Let me enlighten the masses on what really is the most abhorred existence; one so heinous that it should be encased behind glass to be observed from a sterile distance so not to catch any possible contagions: The divorced mother.

Divorced moms are the social pariah., the leper of the not so new millennium. Single people think, “how uncool in a sad way. Just like my mom.” Married people think, “how sad, I pray that never happens to US.”

SMs are never invited to the singles’ or couples’ parties of her past. Her phone number must have disappeared off of everyone’s pda.

But hey, that’s okay. I don’t want to go out much. I don’t really want to date. I just miss having a group of friends.

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Jamie Dawn said...

One thing for sure, you are not the only single mom out there. With so many divorces, there's a lot of single mothers and dads around.
I think you are wise no to jump back into another marriage. I've seen happen to several people in my family, and most of those marriages have ended in divorce.
Anything that makes us feel like the odd one in the group is very awkward. I've felt that way for some time due to my voice disorder. I've had this for nearly nine years now. The good news is that I am seeing great improvement over the past several days, so maybe this last surgery was the one that finally will work!
Hang in there, and find some other single moms to develop friendships with.

I added you to my blogroll. I will check in here regularly.

Scott said...

Mckay, thanks for your encouragement over at my blog. Listen, I don't know what it's like to be a single mother. It's got to be hard. Being a parent is hard enough when there are two of you.

I'll be praying.

Hey, and look at the bright side. You get to be a corporate slave. ; )

Saur♥Kraut said...

Oh yes!!! You preach it, sister! This is so true. Been there/done that. The first couple years were so very humiliating. I felt like I should wear a large scarlet "A" on my chest, because that's what everyone seemed to think. That was a tough time. I'll never forget it.

Mr. Althouse said...

I feel your pain. How so? The plight of which you speak is not reserved to just the fairer sex. Alas, I have experienced much of what you speak. My boys are much older now and do not require the attention they once did. Of course, I too am much older. My salad days have been spent living a double life, trying to be a good single father and an available single. One with the additional baggage of three small boys. One may be cute - for a while, but three never are.

Even on those rare occasions when I could get a sitter, dating was an exercise in futility because there could be no continuity - rarely ever a second date.

So now my freedom has been restored - my mobility returned and my desire for adventure? Nada. I am the cursed homebody. I have my castle and I like it here. Perhaps the flame of desire is burning down, maybe the thrill of the chase is not all it's cracked up to be. Could it be that at the ripe old age of 43 I am getting old?

Perish the thought, but my priorities have definitely changed. The freedom to pursue whatever is there for whatever I wish to make of it. Today, my peace and comfort are my greatest desires - the just rewards of spending all my excitement in a single moment. I'm good with that.


Jamie Dawn said...

Just popped back by. No new post....

The Zombieslayer said...

Married people think, “how sad, I pray that never happens to US.”

The sad thing is I've actually thought that.

mckay said...

jd, i'll be praying for your continued vocal improvement. :) thanks for checking up on me.

scott, people like you remind me to focus on my spiritual journey. it helps immensely by reminding me to stay on solid ground and avoid the pity patch.

saur, we know of what we speak, sista.

mike, you amaze me with your depth of thought. all that and a harley. wow.

zombie, i KNOW you marrieds think that!! i'm not makin this stuff up!