Tuesday, June 27, 2006

date update

It seems the only dates I have these days are court dates. My court date last week went extremely well. So let me just say right now: Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers, good vibes, karma, voodoo, etc… I am very thankful for your words of encouragement and general commiseration regarding my predicament. Here’s what happened: the ex did not get any additional visitation with Son; he must agree to take Son to any sports practices when on a scheduled visitation; all future summer vacation days must be used consecutively (this is a very good thing, because he’s been arguing with me about vacation days here and there & it’s become quite frustrating when it should be so simple).

My ex somehow thought I was badmouthing him to Son’s preschool teachers, which is sooooo far from true. I spoke with the court appointed pyshco doctor back in December to get his advice on whether I should tell people about the perv dad. He said it could cause prejudice against Son so I should refrain from saying anything. I took his advice and bit my lip…but Son’s teacher mentioned to me that Son seems to act out regularly after he’s been on a weekend with his dad…so Perv dad subpoenas the director of the preschool on our day at court. What a buffoon. She came up to me in the hallway, thinking I had done the subpoena. She was quite surprised to find out it was the dad…since what she had to say wouldn’t help him at all. She also confirmed that I’ve never said anything derogatory about the dad. Ever. Woo for me! Am I a good girl, or what? I will always try to do what’s best for Son. Always.


Bar Bar A said...

Yes, you are a good girl and a great mom. I have the same "rule" for myself and never badmouth my son's father (even though he's a total jerk) and guess what - when my son was old enough he figured it out for himself.

Good for you!!

A Novelist said...

Well, for what it's worth, you sound like an excellent mother.

You are the better person! :)

Jamie Dawn said...

Good for you! You are making wise choices in this awful predicament you are in.
I am sooooooo glad he did not get more visitation time.
A BIG Wooo Hoooo!!!!

Mr. Althouse said...


I never said anything derogatory about my ex to my kids either. I felt that was better left up to her. Actually, that's not true - I was following some sage advice from my attorney. I wanted to bash her every chance I got – just like she was doing (and still does) to me. Her tactics, however, backfired as my boys judge us on their own observations. Although it was rough and I wanted to defend and retaliate early on – I won the war. It no longer matters what she says, they know the truth. They still love their mother, but they love AND respect me.

Good job, stick to your guns – I’m with you!


Anonymous said...

I totally need your attorney! Do you think he can get our back medical child support for the past 3 years?


mckay said...

barbara and mike, yep. the kids figure it out for themselves. i just got off the phone with my teenager who's in tears due to her dad's selfishness. do i know how to pick em or what??! my kids are awesome. their dads need a swift kick in the rear with a steel toed boot.

novelist and jamie... thanks for the nice words and encouragement

jef, my lawyer has cost my almost 75 grand so far. ugh. i'm not familiar with your situation, but this web site might point you in the right direction. i think there's some paperwork to fill out and you can get wages garnished. good luck. hope it all works out.

TheCleaningWoman said...

Great job, McKay! With a great mom like you, your kids with be fine. And, as everyone says, kids eventually figure out what really goes on for themselves.

Gary said...

Good for you. There are so many parents who are out for revenge against their exes and use their kids to get it. That is so self centred, because it always hurts the kids.

Hang in there.

Ellen said...

Woohoo! Maybe justice isn't so blind after all. I'm glad to hear that visitation isn't extended further for the ex.... he should consider himself lucky you let him see the children at all. You could have bad-mouthed him to the world, but held it all together as the responsible parent. Your reward: your children respect you more. Congrats!